One of my absolute favorite things to do is travel. Even the mundane bits make me happy. I love flying and being on the plane and in the airport. I love driving and being in the car for hours on end. It’s just calming for me.
I did some traveling over this past winter break and it was actually really hard on me this go round. As I have mentioned, I love to travel. Did i mention that before? Well, I do. But I was traveling over Christmas without my boyfriend this time.
Let me interrupt your judgy thoughts right there. If the word “boyfriend” was replace with “husband” or even “fiance” I doubt I would sound so much like a whiney teenager. Rant over.
Anyway, I guess I could defend myself on why I was sad and say “it was over Christmas” or “it was the longest we’d been apart” or “it was the second Christmas in a row.” But I really don’t have that right because I still went and those were the arguments against me at the time.
Now you may be asking “well, why the fuck did you go then?” Good question. If I was so unhappy about the situation, why did I? Simple. Something you may not know: my family lives in Germany. I hadn’t seen them since the last Christmas when they came to visit me for graduation and then whisked me off to another state to visit extended family-again without boyfriend over Christmas and New Years.
On both occasions, I invited boyfriend along but purely out of consideration. He has been taking classes nonstop to finish his degree as soon as possible. That means he was taking classes over the winter break.
Now, I applaud him on this for many reasons. First of all, I’ve never taken a class over winter break. That is the one break I keep for myself. Secondly, boyfriend knows that I live here for him. And he only lives here for school. So, once he graduates, we begin our search for a home elsewhere.
Okay, I got off topic a bit there, but maybe now you can see that it’s a tangled mess. I bet you thought this post was going in a much different direction, huh? Don’t worry, I actually intended to write about the actual traveling I did, but it didn’t feel right without addressing this first.
Moral of the story: sometimes you’re going to have really complicated situations in your life. Sometimes there is no right decision. Sometimes you’re going to do things that hurt people you care about. Sometimes it’s going to hurt you too. But you make decisions and you live with it. Don’t get hung up on what if’s. You can’t change what has already happened. All you can do is assess the decisions and situations that got you to this point and either make different choices now or not.
And don’t worry. Boyfriend and I are still going 5+ years strong. I know that ending may have sounded contradictory to this, but again, we’re good.
Okay, sorry about getting so deep… Byyye